its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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