Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
