Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
