I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
