I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
