i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Terrible idea I love it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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