Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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