the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
