Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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