She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
