yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
