I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
