so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
