Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
