went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
