I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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