Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
