porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
