i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
