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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
