dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
