Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
