Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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