whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
