oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
