ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
