She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She even gives head with a lisp.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
