I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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