Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it glows. i had to have it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
