Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
