I must be too annoying 4 u.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
