ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
