I look better un-naked...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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