You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
