I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
