worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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