Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
