He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize