This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
