He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
