The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
