Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
