Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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