what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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