if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
