I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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