So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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