This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
