Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
