We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
