Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
